KIOSK is an utter failure as a restaurant. In fact, none of the Westerners with laptops that sip coffee here seem to ever order any food. Why do they come? It’s a smashing success as a café: fragrant cups of Illy, sweeping views of Benjasiri Park, a clean monochrome design, a sleek library for designers and hip touches like black beanbags and a gleaming Vespa against the wall. Unfortunately, get tempted by nearly any of the nine well-photographed brunch dishes on the menu card and things can get very nasty. Ordering the eggs benedict with smoked ham on Champagne bread won’t get you the pictured asparagus but will include weak hollandaise sauce and soggy bread courtesy of the watery eggs. Scrambled eggs with corn bread disappoint too, as they come with thick slices of white bread (a discrepancy the waitress simply shrugged off) and dry eggs. However, the country ham with melted cheddar and egg sandwich manages to save the day with its hefty filling and perfect toast—a great midday hunger stopper. Lighter fare such as muesli and Greek yoghurt with fresh fruits or poached pears in balsamic reduction with mascarpone somehow don’t live up to their fancy names—sweet and sour, sure, but mostly bitter and blah. Dishes are served in slow succession, with a 10-minute wait between each one. For a four-person brunch, count one hour at the table and five minutes of actual eating. Our tip: eat at Emporium’s food court (same awesome view as it’s just downstairs) and come here for the coffee—we’ll take KIOSK’s well-brewed Illy cappuccino over a big chain coffee shop’s any day. No corkage charge.